Looking for the Lovely
I've known him for what seems like a short amount of time compared to his other friends, and many of mine. Only none of my good, long-term friends live in the same city as me anymore, so those I have made in this new, strange place are important to me.
Since I arrived here there was a hole in me for lack of local social interaction, and after several months now I've worked to develop some friendships. I now have a handful of people I can consider friends, and he is one of them.
Things are looking up for me in this crazy place where I once felt so alone and hopeless. Everyone seems to like me and accept me as a friend, including him.
A bit more than everyone else, he comes over individually to hang out with me and my boyfriend some weekends. It seems I'm putting some roots down in this new place in the form of good friends.
I'm making memories and bonding through fun social gatherings, developing inside jokes and knowing all of my new group of friends better and better everyday - he is definitely one of the ones I am closest to.
We all miss him one night while we gather to celebrate a birthday without him because he's sick with pneumonia.
The next morning he dies.
I'm shocked. It's so unfair for him. He thought he'd be back at school in a few weeks. He thought he had more time.
So did we all. I thought I'd see him the first weekend I was back in town after the new year began. I thought I'd get the chance to be friends with him for a long time. I thought I could help him celebrate his birthday in April.
He didn't know he wouldn't see us again, neither did we. I hurt for him, for his family, for his friends, and for me.
I cannot see the lovely in any of this. There is none.
December 22nd, 2009 - 07:51
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