The Most Lovely New Beginnings
I started this blog with a discussion of motherhood, and my best friend due to give birth. My last blog was while I was in despair over the end of a friend's life. Six months ago today my best friend gave birth to her son, and the next day I attended the memorial of my friend Patrick. It seems life is a never ending cycle of ends and beginnings, all around to humble, inspire, destroy and create.
The past year has been nothing short of an example of that for me. I am humbled beyond explanation from the self-esteem-destroying experiences of the last year. At the same time I learned so many lessons and started on a whole new path. I am 22 years old, with a Bachelor's degree, and am ecstatic over gaining a part-time receptionist position six months ago. I'm ecstatic to be making money again; I'm ecstatic to have a purpose - however minor it may be; I'm ecstatic t be contributing to the financial responsibilities I hadn't been able to bear for my several months of unemployment. I'm ecstatic to have the freedom again to do anything I want, because the burden of unemployment ran so deep I felt paralyzed.
When I look at this situation objectively, I realize I should maybe be reaching for the stars and having more ambition. But that's what a humbling experience does to you, it makes it so even the smallest victories are like a dream come true. It makes it so every positive experience is a life altering new beginning. That's what it felt like when I got this part-time job that a high school graduate is just as qualified for, that's what it felt like driving to see my best friend's new baby, and that's what it's going to feel like every time anything good happens. Since I have had this job I have been promoted twice and I know things have to be looking up for me. I know things are getting better. When you've fallen so far, there's only so many directions to look, and up seems the only one worth it right now.